She is To Me
by RosieMary
Summary: Mulder and Scully have to face some rumours before they can be together.


**SHE IS TO ME**

The clock read 6.45.

Scully sat at her computer. She had been working on a case report for about half an hour. Mulder watched as her hands typed long words, complicated scientific words, that her sceptical mind loved to contradict his paranormal explanations with.

He would often stare at her, usually when he had a case report of his own to complete, He knew he didn't have the time to stare at his partner but he'd still watch. Often, too, she'd catch him staring.

"What's up" she'd ask him, whenever she was aware his eyes hadn't left her for over a minute.

He'd always answer evasively with" Nothing" or "It's not Important" but she didn't mind. She stared at him when he wasn't looking too.

He stared at her, and he didn't see what other people saw. Some people knew her as Agent Scully, scientific, capable, strong, brilliant. Other agents they knew saw her as "The Ice Queen", the emotionless agent or "Mrs Spooky" because she and her partner "Obviously" had something going on.

"I wish" he thought, bleakly.

Her Family (and friends that she had gradually lost touch with over the years) knew her as Dana. Dana was the side of her he hadn't officially met in the office, although they had been partnered for so long, he only saw "Dana" outside working hours, the mask she wore to conceal her fears in front of others was apparent to him, when he compared her with what she was like when they were alone.

Mulder saw beyond that determined exterior, now that they had become so close. No matter how much sleep she'd missed, or how many extreme conditions she had faced, she always looked beautiful, immaculate, to him.

He could see her inside, past all the walls she built to protect herself, and past all the emotional barriers she put up against other people. When he saw her, he saw her as she really was. Intelligent, compassionate, beautiful, funny and... perfect. He loved the way she looked, the way she thought rationally, the way she dressed (although conservatively),The way she laughed at his jokes and the way she was just... Scully.

"She's a saint" thought Mulder"At least, she is to me."

He was staring again, Scully knew it. She could feel his gaze on her from across the room. It didn't make her feel uncomfortable. She didn't know what he was looking at, but she trusted him.

She typed her last long word (unobtrusively) and thought"What is he seeing right now" She knew what other people thought of her. She knew people called her The Ice Queen behind her back because she would never let them see what she was feeling and sometimes they avoided conversation with her because "It would be easier to melt a glacier".

She also knew what she saw when she looked in the mirror.

Scully thought she was short, plain and sort of dull. From sexist comments from some of the other male agents, comments from Frohike and stares from complete strangers she knew she wasn't repulsive, But she couldn't see it herself.

It was true, she did put on an act for certain people. At work she tried to appear taller, stronger, more daunting and less vulnerable. her professional-looking pant suits in dark colours and three-inch heels helped her with this.

She had even tried her act on Mulder before, with her repeated phrase of "I'm fine". But somehow it just didn't work, he could always see through it, see her insecurities. Thinking about all of this, she had no idea why he found her so interesting just then.

She turned to grab a file and her beautiful red hair glistened in the light. "How did she get so damn gorgeous" he wondered"and does she even know it". He sighed and finally started typing.

She was looking at him type now. They had been friends for so long, and since the beginning there had been little things about him that she loved. How good he could look wearing anything, even glasses. The way he smelled, the way he answered his cell phone, those irritating little smiles he had.

She knew that he even made his parents call him by his last name.

Other agents knew him as "Spooky" Mulder, because of his obsession with the unnatural and anything else she would call "Science-fictional" or "Impossible". They both knew other agents looked down on him and doubted his credibility after all his years on the x files. Scully knew and respected his beliefs in the paranormal, she admired his determination, his passion for his work and, although she did not always agree with his theories, she knew he was a good agent. The best she had met, in fact. Mulder thought the same about her

Rumours had been flying around the bureau about the two of them from day one, and they knew it. Apparently there were numerous polls going around about "how long they'd been sleeping together" or "when they were going to announce they they were secretly married". "They must see something I don't" she thought, but when she looked at him again she wondered if she was possibly beginning to see it too.

He looked up at her and she looked at her screen again, quickly.

Knowing now that he could see the real Dana Scully, Fox Mulder now wondered if she could read him in the same way too. Read his insecurities. He almost hoped not, that would mean that she could read his true feelings for her. Or perhaps that wouldn't be such a bad thing...

"Could a romantic relationship between the two of them work" Scully wondered. She knew she felt strongly enough about Mulder for it to, and she knew that behind Mulder's subtle teasing and not-so subtle innuendos there was always a hint that maybe they could be more than partners, more than friends. Or perhaps it would complicate things.

The Clock read 7.15.

After thirty minutes of staring and stealing glances at each other. They saved their reports simultaneously and their eyes finally met. They both realised they wouldn't know how the other felt until they asked, but neither felt like making the first move that night.

It was three in the morning. Mulder was asleep on the couch, next to Scully.

She wanted to move, but she couldn't bear to wake him.

It was kind of nice, to be able to relax, lean against him like this, to be able to touch his skin and smell him.

She had never felt so comfortable with anyone before, as she did with him just then.

The case they were working on had taken a lot out of them, she realised.

She ran her fingers through his dark hair, and closed her eyes to sleep, with her head against his shoulder.

Mulder started to wake up just as Scully made a noise of contentment, in her sleep.

He was in the magical bliss between dreaming and consciousness. He could tell she was there before he even opened his eyes. He could feel

her warm body next to his own and smell her scent of... Peaches, thought Mulder, definitely peaches.

Taking great care not to disturb her, he sat up gently and watched her, intently. of course, he wanted her. He had for years. but, right then, in

the moment, he was more concerned about being with her, forever. he wanted to hold her close to him, that was all that mattered.

Mulder wanted to trap this feeling for all eternity, knowing that he was in heaven, and he was sharing it with Scully, who was safe, there beside him.

It was Saturday morning, two hours since Scully had left Mulder's. he had slipped away, unnoticed at 8.00 am, and after returning briefly to her

apartment she headed straight to headquarters.

As she headed down the hallway, someone followed her.

"Agent Scully" called Skinner, catching up with her. "Could I have a moment please"

"Of course, sir." answered Scully.

He handed her an official looking envelope.

"This arrived from OPR this morning, Agent Scully" Skinner explained. "You may be interested in it."

Scully opened the envelope and slid out the contents. Her eyes scanned the page.

"An official re-assignment request" Scully asked Skinner, disbelieving. "A four year investigation in Antarctica"

"They've, uh, been pushing me to ask you for quite some time. Of course, I recommended you, they wanted the best."

Scully looked shocked.

"I don't understand, sir. they were the ones who first assigned me to the x files."

Skinner looked guilty.

"They appreciate your assistance to Agent Mulder, obviously. But they feel you would be better off... working on something more solid."

"Something more credible. Something without Mulder and his Little Grey Men." said Scully, with realisation.

"Well, you _are_ aware of his reputation. They just think your talents would be put to better use up there."

"They aren't happy with our reports" asked Scully.

"I'm aware that your cases can have very little closure sometimes, Agent Scully, it can't always be easy on the unexplained cases. But, as

you know, Agent Mulder would never stop working in that department, and although it's true, that without you, there would be even less

substantial evidence on field reports, I believe you would be more beneficial to the bureau on the research course."

Scully re-read the page quickly.

"But it's _my_ decision" she checked.

"Entirely." confirmed Skinner. "but my advice, as Assistant Director, would be to take this opportunity. It only comes along every so often.

You could really make something of yourself, climb higher."

"I'll need your answer in two days" Skinner said as he walked back toward his office.

Scully continued down the hallway, slowly, the envelope still in her hand. She considered her options. Skinner was right, this _was_ a fantastic

opportunity. Just what she had always been interested in working on.

"Emphasis on biology, cryogenics, a highly classified research unit" she muttered to herself.

She sighed. She had spent so much time working on the x files with Mulder, She had chosen this career instead of a medical one to try and

make a difference and they _had_ made such a difference, those high above them just refused to acknowledge it.

She vaguely thought about what it would be like in Antarctica.

"Too cold." she thought, then she laughed out loud at her own pathetic excuse.

She couldn't leave the x files now, any other work would seem boring, unimportant. She had too much invested in the x files, she realised, and

too much invested in Mulder.

"I'm not going." she decided. She would tell A.D Skinner her final decision and Mulder wouldn't even need to know.

Scully reached into a desk drawer to get what she had originally come into work on a Saturday for.

their latest case-file.

"This case might be taking a lot out of us" she thought"but we're not done with it yet."

Scully put the files in her bag and left, to return to Mulder's, and see if they could solve anymore of them.

While she was driving, Scully's cell phone rang. Of course, it was Mulder, it always was.

"Scully, can you hurry" he asked"I've got an idea."

-

"That's it" exclaimed Mulder, slamming the files down on the table.

"That's what" asked Scully, exasperated that she couldn't find any information on their criminal.

"Scully, you said that the agents that have been targeted so far, the criminal had access to their information. conversations, files..."

"Yes." said Scully"But it's all been checked out. No phones were tapped, no listening devices were found"

Mulder interrupted her. "The vents, Scully! He's been listening to their conversations from the ceiling."

Scully shook her head. "Mulder, those conversation were _highly_ confidential. This federal building is so well protected, there is no way that

could be possible, it un-realistic"

"Well" argued Mulder"It's my guess that security overlooked that those vents are big enough to fit a grown man. That's the only possible

explanation I can come up with."

Scully wasn't sure what to say.

"We should check it out" continued Mulder"unless you're about to suggest that who we're looking for is psychic"

Scully gave him a look. "Mulder" she began, but he cut her off again.

"Scully, you'll come with me"

"Yeah." she reluctantly agreed.

"Can I take you to dinner afterwards? he asked.

Scully's eyes widened. was he asking her out? Or was he just hungry? After all, they ate together almost every day anyway, they already

spent more time together than most married couples, but something was different, he looked almost nervous. She wasn't sure so she did the

only thing that made logical sense. She answered "Yes, I'd like that." with a small smile.

-

They stood on the desk in the x files department. Mulder forced open the air vent.

"Ladies first." He gestured towards the vent.

"No, you go Mulder."

"Why" he asked"Is this another male chauvinist thing"

"No." replied Scully"I'm wearing a skirt. there will be bending. _You_ go first."

Mulder climbed up into the ceiling then held out his hand to help Scully up. They crawled along, slowly.

_Oh God_, _why is he wearing that leather jacket?_ thought Scully, she could never concentrate properly when he wore that.

Suddenly Mulder stopped. "Check this out, Scully."

He allowed her to climb over him to see.

" A fingerprint." she realised. She turned to look at him. "Maybe it's somebody's from maintenance."

"Maybe." said Mulder, as he dusted it"But maybe not."

They carried on, until they heard the sound of voices from below them.

"Where do you think we are" Scully whispered.

"I'd say we're just above Agent Croler's Office." he answered"Well, now we know that this_ is _a possibility and we can get that print analysed."

They turned to go back, when they heard their familiar nicknames.

"Oh yeah" came Croler's sarcastic voice. "That sound like a job for Spooky Mulder and the Ice Queen" he joked. There was a chorus of

laughter. "him and his little green aliens! It's bullshit, I have no idea how he gets the missus to tag along."

"Hypnosis, maybe" suggested another voice. The laughter exploded again.

"Yeah, well" said Croler"I'd have _hypnotised_ Dana Scully a while ago, if she wasn't so damn frigid"

Still in the ceiling, Scully looked extremely uncomfortable, and Mulder's whole body tensed up in fury.

"and you'll _never _guess what I saw last night." Croler continued. "The happy couple themselves, walking, probably back to Spooky's place last

night. She had his jacket on. they were _Very_ cosy, _very _comfortable with the touching."

Scully couldn't believe how low those people were, how they were willing to stand around gossiping over nothing.

She didn't think she had ever seen Mulder so angry, he looked like he wanted to crash down and kill them all.

She placed her hand on his shoulder. "Come on Mulder" she said gently"lets go."

They slid themselves down, back into their office.

"You're all dusty." Mulder said softly and smoothed down her skirt. Scully shivered.

"Yeah, I should go home and change." she said quietly.

"Will you still meet me at the bar at six, and then we can eat" he asked.

her eyes looked unsure, but her mouth answered "I'll be there."

-

Mulder waited alone at the bar, eating sunflower seeds. there were already three empty beer bottles next to him, and he ordered another. He

knew he wasn't good at handling his drink, but he didn't care. Scully had stood him up, or she was over half an hour late anyway. he heard a

voice behind him.

"Hey Mulder, are you waiting for a date or something" it was Frohike.

"Hmn. Not exactly" answered Mulder. "I think Scully's ditched me. She was supposed to be here forty minutes ago, but we were a little

shaky today." he held up his shaking hand to demonstrate.

"You two have a fight" Frohike asked.

Mulder gave a short, hollow laugh. "Actually, no." he answered. "We, uh, overheard someone talking today, and it kind of upset her. She

actually has less confidence than people think, she thinks"

Scully had entered the bar, unseen. She knew she was really late and that Mulder had probably left, but she felt so terrible, hiding at home

because of some pathetic rumours. She walked over, behind Mulder and Frohike and was just about to apologise when she heard the end of

what they were saying.

"-I don't want her, she's unattractive, regular, predictable, dull and un-impulsive."

Scully couldn't believe what he was saying, she knew it wasn't just her paranoia, he was _definitely_ talking about her, but she didn't understand

why.

Tears welled up in her eyes and she ran out of the bar. Mulder and Frohike looked up at the sound of her heels on the tiled floor, just as she

ran out of the door, crying.

"Scully" Mulder yelled after her.

"How long was she standing there for" Mulder asked a customer, urgently. He shrugged his shoulders.

"Couldn't have been too long."

"Oh god" he said to Frohike"She must have heard what we were saying, she must have thought... Oh God, what the hell have I done"

He ran out into the street, after her, but he had no idea what direction she had gone in.

-

Mulder ran to the door of Scully's apartment.

"Scully" he yelled as loud as he could, pounding on the door.

"Scully, it's me" There was no answer.

"Scully, I know you're in there! You have to let me in, you don't understand! What you heard it's not what you think"

He started banging the door again.

"Scully! Scully let me in, you _have_ to believe me"

Scully's elderly neighbour left her own apartment, looking bewildered.

"She's not here" she informed Mulder" She left earlier this evening, and she hasn't been back since."

Mulder was extremely distressed. He thanked the woman, and leant desperately against Scully's door, willing her to be home soon, and

vowing to be there when she did.

-

Scully had not gone home.

She sat in her car, In a car park near the bar.

She needed some time to think. She had finally stopped crying. She had to remind herself to stay strong on the outside, no matter what.

She couldn't admit to anyone, even herself, that when she had overheard Mulder, it was although her heart had been ripped from her chest.

Her breathing was laboured, she had been so upset. She had tried so hard to stop Mulder thinking of her in that way, and she thought it hadn't

worked.

_Maybe that's all I am to him._ She thought. _Maybe I'm just a colleague, a dull, un-impulsive colleague. Maybe that's all anyone will ever think of _

_me. _

Tears formed in her eyes again.

She thought Mulder had understood.

She blinked them away again, angry at herself.

She took out the letter Skinner had given her earlier out of the glove compartment. She had been intending to throw it out.

Now she was glad she hadn't.

She pulled out her cell phone, and dialled Skinner's number. It was clear to her what she had to do.

-

Ring

Ring

Ring

Ring

Ring

Ring

It seemed to go on forever. At last, his secretary picked up.

"Hello, this is Special Agent Dana Scully, I need to speak with A.D skinner please." she requested.

She took a deep breath, the first part was done.

"Ah, yes" replied the secretary"He said you might be in touch. Let me check If he's busy."

She put Scully on hold and the end of the song "I cannot believe" by Kymberly Singers was playing.

_I cannot believe what he's saying,_

_I knew he was the one from the start._

_I cannot believe that it's over,_

_it's finally breaking my heart._

_How appropriate_, thought Scully, weakly.

She thought it couldn't get any harder, until a new song came on. Their song.

_Put on my blue suede shoes  
And I boarded the plane  
Touched down in the land of the delta blues  
In the middle of the pouring rain  
WC Handy won't you look down over me  
Yeah I got a first class ticket  
But I'm as blue as a boy can be_

Then I'm walking in Memphis  
I was walking with my feet ten feet off a beel  
Walking in Memphis  
But do I really feel the way I feel

Saw the ghost of Elvis on Union Avenue  
Followed him up to the gates of Graceland  
And I watched him walk right through  
Now security they did not see him   
They just huddled round his tomb  
There's a pretty little thing waiting for the King  
Down in the jungle room

Then I'm walking in Memphis  
I was walking with my feet ten feet off a beel  
Walking in Memphis  
But do I really feel the way I feel

Then I'm walking in Memphis  
I was walking with my feet ten feet off a beel  
Walking in Memphis  
But do I really feel the way I feel

They got catfish on the table  
They got gospel in the air  
Reverend Green be glad to see you  
When you haven't got a prayer  
But boy you got a prayer in Memphis  
Now Gabriel plays piano  
Every Friday at the Hollywood  
And they brought me down to see him  
And asked me if I would

Do a little number  
And I sang with all my might  
He said tell me are you a Christian child  
And I said man I am tonight

Then I'm walking in Memphis  
I was walking with my feet ten feet off a beel  
Walking in Memphis  
But do I really feel the way I feel

Then I'm walking in Memphis  
I was walking with my feet ten feet off a beel  
Walking in Memphis  
But do I really feel the way I feel

Put on my blue suede shoes  
And I boarded the plane  
Touched down in the land of the delta blues  
In the middle of the pouring rain.

As she remembered their first dance together, she couldn't take it anymore. She was about to hang up, when the secretary came back on the line.

"I'm sorry, Agent Scully, you've just missed him. you should try contacting him tomorrow."

"Okay, uh, thank you." Scully managed to choke out, then she hung up.

She wiped away the last of her tears and started the car engine, a steady, resolved expression on her face. She knew where she was

heading.

She was heading home to pack.

Mulder stared at door number 14, the door opposite Scully's. he checked his watch desperately, it had been a while, Scully should've been home by then.

He could never have forgiven himself if anything had happened to her after she had left the bar.

Finally, she came round the corner. Mulder's heart leapt.

She saw that he was there, but she wouldn't turn back. She stared resolutely ahead of her, and opened the door.

"Scully" said Mulder"Scully, I have to talk to you."

Scully turned around. "Mulder, I have nothing to say to you right now" she made to close the door.

"No, Scully, you have to let me explain, you can't shut me out like this"

"Fine" agreed Scully, with a blank expression"I won't shut you out. You have a right to hear this."

Mulder entered her apartment and she threw the letter at him.

"Read it" she commanded.

Mulder did as she said.

"You-You're taking it" he asked weakly.

"Obviously" answered Scully"There's nothing here for me now."

"Scully, I'm here, I'll _always _be here."

Mulder could see the hurt in her eyes as she yelled-

"I heard you! I heard you, okay! Talking to Frohike"

"I know Scully" he answered"I know what you think you heard, but that's _not_ what I meant."

"How many meanings can their be for dull, boring, un-impulsive, will I go on? I _know _you were talking about me"

"Yeah, you're right." Mulder admitted.

Scully gasped and broke eye-contact with him.

"But you didn't hear everything" he continued"I know that what you heard me saying, that's what you think of yourself."

Scully couldn't believe it.

"What the hell makes you so sure what I think of myself" she yelled hysterically,

Mulder put his hand on her shoulder, to calm her down. she tried to break away, but he wouldn't let her. He looked deep into her eyes.

"I know this, because I _know_ you."

The tears in her eyes slowly began to fall.

"And I love you."

That was all it took. The tears began spilling down her face.

Mulder took her hand and looked at her. He clasped it and said intently-

"You are the most beautiful woman I have ever met. I love everything about you. I love your hair, your face, everything about you." He

gently touched her as he said each thing. you are so interesting and compassionate... and special. And they know it. Croler and his

hangers-on, they know it. They're jealous, they always have been. Because they will _never _know you the way I do."

He pulled her into a tight hug and wiped the tears from her face.

She looked up at him, and she knew he was telling the truth.

She saw it in his eyes. His eyes, that only looked like that for her.

"I believe you" She whispered softly into his ear"and I Love you too, but I'm scared."

"You don't have to be." He reassured her, and he kissed her, passionately and lovingly.

He put his arms around her and she led him into the bedroom.

She knew everything was going to be all right.

-

"So... are we Mulder and Scully or Fox and Dana" Mulder asked, as they lay in each others arms.

"We're both, we're us." Scully told him.

"Mulder? What's going to happen tomorrow" She asked him, .

Mulder traced every curve of her body, caringly.

"We don't have to worry about that right now." he answered.

"Mmm.." agreed Scully and she snuggled closer to him and closed her eyes.

-

Mulder and Scully had not found the past day too difficult.

_We can still work together._ Mulder realised, _Even though our relationship has... progressed._

He was waiting for her outside Skinner's office.

She came out, a small smile on her face.

"Did you tell him you're not going" Mulder asked straight away.

"I told him I'm not going." confirmed Scully, still smiling.

"Thank God he wasn't around yesterday." murmured Mulder.

He stroked her face.

Scully looked at Agent Croler who was standing by a copier, looking at them and whispering to his partner.

Scully sighed. "Looks like the rumours are still on-going, Mulder."

He thought for a second.

"Well then, lets put an end to them."

He kissed her long and hard, just as Skinner left his office.

They broke apart and looked around.

Scully could hardly stop herself from laughing, everyone's eyes were practically exploding from staring so much

and Skinner looked so shocked.

They walked away, confidently, amid mutterings.

Mulder's arm was around Scully's waist.

"Well, it's not a rumour anymore" laughed Scully.

"No" smiled Mulder,

"If the other rumours are true it looks like some Agents are going to win a good bit of money when the polls end tomorrow." commented

Scully,

"It looks like _Agent MF Luder_ might be one of them." he said, teasingly.

"Mulder" said Scully, not sure whether he was joking or not. She saw the sparkle in his eyes.

"Re-lax Scully, I'll buy you something pretty with the winnings."

"You better" said Scully, as they left the buildings, ready to go home.

**THE END**

People are talking, talking 'bout people  
I hear them whisper, you won't believe it  
They think we're lovers kept under covers  
I just ignore it, but they keep saying  
We laugh just a little too loud  
We stand just a little too close  
We stare just a little too long  
Maybe they're seeing something we don't, Darlin'.

I feel so foolish, I never noticed  
You'd act so nervous,  
Could you be falling for me?  
It took a rumor to make me wonder  
Now I'm convinced I'm going under  
Thinking 'bout you every day  
Dreaming 'bout you every night  
Hoping that you feel the same way  
Now that we know it, let's really show it, Darlin'.

Let's give them something to talk about  
Let's give them something to talk about  
Let's give them something to talk about  
How about love, love, love, love?

Let's give them something to talk about  
A little mystery to figure out  
Let's give them something to talk about  
How about love, love, love, love?


End file.
